carlo's sorrow

First Chapter

The party

My name doesn’t have any importance, I just tell the story I lived and I had to face

I was just ten years old when I met her, she was got pretty beautiful eyes, blue being more specific, that’s what I remember when that memory comes to my head every time I’m in the bed thinking about her. The place, I don’t remember, it was my mom’s friend’s birthday; I think no children liked to play with her because she was alone almost all the party, and she just spoke with her mom in other language, -maybe that’s the reason she doesn’t play with anybody- I thought. As far as I can remember, I got closer to her when I identified that language; weird for the rest of the children, not for me, -I born in Italy-, how don’t know what she was telling to her mom. So I made my best, and told her something, and that, was the first time I share any word with Catalina, I asked her for her mom, for why wasn’t she playing with any other kid, and so on, we did a very good friendship.

You know how easy is for a kid get friends more even when those friends are girls and one is a boy. But since that moment I started talking with her almost all the days, and going out for playing something, now and then we had different activities, eat, and go to the cinema with her or my parents and something new to laugh about, or I don’t remember what else.

That was a very good year since I had met he, we had have a very good relationship, and it ain’t word for the happiness she gave to my moments with her.
When she became into a 15 year old girl, she was obviously gorgeous, more than that time in the party.
This night was when all happened. Our relationship had become in something further, kind of teenager’s love. And that night fifty years ago I kissed her for first time, you know that in 1850 everything could make a scandal, so we had to keep it in secret. I called her before the party, she pretty, the purple suit fits her very well. I told her- come with me a minute, I gotta tell you something-, when we was behind of the big scenery where the party would take place, I told her, - you have to know something. –
-What? - She asked – I don’t fine the correct words for telling you how much I love you, you have to know that I love you since I saw you for first time, and look at you, today, your very gorgeous; I hadn’t finished that and her lips were burning mine like the flame of the phoenix.

That really was the heaven-don’t say a word just enjoy it, I love you too, I was waiting until this day for telling to you the truth- she told me, meanwhile, her dad was mad at her because she didn’t appear as if she would be eaten by the earth, he needed her to take some pictures and for showing her that he was finally found a very good man that was going to be her husband, this the perfect man, he’s got money, he’s very intelligent, and his works on a huge factory that is in almost all the countries in Europe.-He taught- not like this idiot that she thinks she loves, she’s going to love Karl when she meet him.

-Carlo, I really must to tell you something, my dad is finding me a husband, and I’m afraid of he founded now, and he’s gonna show him tonight to all the guests- Cat said, -Ok I’m gonna show your dad that I’m better than this man he found- I said to her -I don’t think it would be a good idea, because my dad is very stubborn- just zip and kiss me.

I finally found you, sweetie I have to tell you somet… hey! - He shouted at us, -what do you think you’re doing!!!? – Catalina immediately went with his father and explained him what exactly was happening, I, instead, didn’t know what to do because her dad was so strict. He didn’t want to hear his daughter and stopped the party whose not even had started, after 20 years I didn’t know why he had that reaction.
She was sent to Italy again, this time, she’ll never come back, and since that moment my beloved woman died for my eyes but never for my heart, I continued loving her all the days she was the light of my eyes, she was the reason for waking up all the mornings and make some music. I had never known her house address was, so I have to find out any way for writing her. That way was, her mom.
I wrote lots of letters, I never knew if they were read by her.

Being there, she taught her sweetie love had forgotten about her forever, and now when their lives were gonna be totally different that she had once taught they were gonna be, all had happened so fast and she had stopped where all the madness of her life had began, it was inevitable, she will never see Carlo again.

She finally gave up, sad and with her broken heart continued with her life. She found new men, because you know that obviously her dad had told something totally different that he had even taught he’d say in that party, he just sent her to Italy and the man who was going to take the place of Catalina’s husband denied to marry with her because he taught she wasn’t the appropriate woman for him, whatever Catalina not even met him and just looked for new guys, but she’ll never found anyone like Carlo but she found well men any way there.
Her sadness was only c comparable with death, live without him was like a deaf musician, or a blind coach driver. But she knew she couldn’t throw her life away without further ado.
After 25 years she’d came to Italy, she found finally a man whose she fall in love with and they got married. The guy who was a politician from Rome celebrated one of the biggest marriage ever seen. They had some children, and in the middle of all, she still thought about Carlo’s life, her first true love.
When she has 75, a man who came form somewhere very far away, she could know that because of his accent, gave her a letter signed by Carlo Ventresca in 1950, September the ninth.- The date of my 15th birthday- she thought

The letter read:
“My love, my sweet woman, my myself, my all. It ain't enough words for telling you how much I love you …”

-Bear in mind- said the old man, - that the man who wrote that letter tried come what may to give it to you on the date here written.- and he, had having said that, went out from the house, letting her alone, with just the letter and all her feelings getting out form her body and taking place besides her.
She felt like the most inhuman person in the whole word because while she read this, she realized that she more than once had hated Carlo because he never send at least one letter from there, and she knew that he did but they never arrived and she had forgotten her, and he had not.

At the end of the letter it read:
“It doesn’t matter how much you love me, I love you more.
Sempre con te
Te aspetarò fino al fine dal mondo
Carlo.”
She cried as never in her long life.
Now she knew how much she had lost.